How to Tutor an Asgardian Warlord on the Use of Cell Phones
by monocheshaa
Summary: There's a breaking point for most Fentons when they have less than three hours sleep and some primal idiot who constantly shouts, "I, Loki!" is asking you to tutor him on the use of cell phones.


**So I've been really irritated by the mass amount of Avengers fics with little to none Danny-Loki interaction that don't have to do with gut-punching and blood. So I decided to make my own! :D I might continue this later, maybe.**  
 **Danny Phantom, Marvel, and quotes from Taken do not belong to me ;^;**  
 **Enjoy! ^^**  
 **-Cheshire**

* * *

Danny really hated his ringtone.

Imagine "Spooky Scary Skeletons" playing at four AM right before you're about to sleep which is the sleep you really need considering that you've just spent the past seven hours hunting idiotic ghosts that just won't stay in their own dimension.

Yeah. He was annoyed.

Danny shut his eyes tightly. Maybe if he ignored it the caller would just leave him alone.

 _Spooky scary, spooky scary, spooky scare-scare-scare-scare..._

It'll go away in thirty seconds. It's okay.

 _*heavy bass drop*_

I've been electrocuted in a portal to another dimension. I've spent years hunting and capturing ghosts. I've defeated a ghost king. I've been cloned and lived through the joking humiliation of being called a fourteen year old dad. I've battled my evil future self, traveled through time and lived to tell the tale. I can ignore this phone call.

 _We're so sorry, skeletons_  
 _You're so misunderstood_  
 _You only want to socialize_  
 _(but I don't think we should)_  
 _*more heavy dubstep*_

Fuck it.

Danny punched the phone and groaned into the receiver. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing calling me at four AM?"

 _"Ah! The box speaks!"_

Oh my sweet freckled Jesus.

"This a prank?" he growled.

 _"Tell me, magic-touched box, what is your name?"_

"Danny. Why are you calling me?"

 _"I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose-"_

"I don't know who you are or what you want. But I will find you, and I will kill you."

 _"Temper temper, Danny of the Cursed Cubical Contraption. Please refrain yourself from killing me."_

Did he just call me a cursed cubical contraption?

I'm gonna kick this guy's balls. If he has any.

"What the hell do you want."

 _"Well, Danny of the Cursed Cubical Contraption, I was wondering if you could, er...help me."_

Danny raised an eyebrow. This was interesting.

"With what?"

 _"Now, you see, I can't seem to figure you out."_

"Figure...what? We've only been talking for a couple of minutes."

 _"No, no, I mean that I cannot seem to necessarily access your abilities. Per se, your incredible power of...texting? And what those other things are called, um..._ selfies _or whatever those are called."_

Danny sat up on the bed, stunned. Then he burst out laughing.

 _"It's not funny!"_

"Look, uh...Loki, was it? Is this your first time using a phone?"

 _"Oh! Is that what you are called?"_

"I'm not a phone. You're calling me on the phone. It's sort of like...a way to talk to people from far away."

 _"Ah! A communication device!"_

"Yep. Well, if you managed to call me, I'm guessing you know how to put in numbers?"

 _"The Earthen symbols inscribed on the phone, yes. I typed in a random combination and you answered."_

"Oh, um...okay. Yeah, individual phones have their own unique number so you can call them. Just, um, don't call me again after this. Because no offense, but you're kind of weird."

 _"Did you just call me, Loki, future king of Asgard,_ weir _-"_

"Let's skip that! You know how to turn the phone on and off, right?"

 _"I smashed the phone against a wall and it lit up, so I guess I know how to turn it on."_

Danny blinked. "Um...let's not do that, because it'll break it. There should be a little button on the top or the side, just make sure it's not the volume-"

 _"AHA! I, Loki, have found it this button of the on-off feature!"_

"Yes, I get that you're Loki. That's great. Now, do you know how to end the call?"

 _"...No."_

"Okay, you see that little red button on the center of the screen?"

 _"Yes! I, Loki, have found the bu-"_

"ALRIGHT, I GET THAT YOU'RE LOKI. Now press that button."

 _"I, Loki, have pressed the bu-"_

Call ended.

Danny smirked. Finally, sweet peace-

The shrill screech of his alarm went off.

"GODDAMMIT!"

"Danny, don't curse! Why are you screaming at six in the morning?"

"...Sorry, Jazz."


End file.
